Hemingway said
write drunk edit sober
I don’t know though
because here I am, after my
glasses of whiskey and wine and I
know what I feel and long for
and I feel these are the deepest sides of me
right here
and it’s the sides I don’t wish to see
when the days are bright
I know my longings and my desires
and I have an unnameable darkness pulling me
by the core of my chest
and my thorax longs to split open
chase what my soul craves
but it’s not here
so I am left with the unnameable longing
and here is my rawest truth
I know now what I long for and I know
that I long for release
and intoxication
and for now whiskey and wine
are my best friends
for they will give me an imaginary escape
into the arms of the longing
that needs to be fed.