You were so

You were the only star on my sky
I should have learned not to put all of my faith in you
but then again, how can I regret it
when in your eyes I saw an ocean
and on your lips
I kissed eternity
you loved all of me, with all of you
you drank the full moon and offered it to me
in those kisses
did you feel unchained, like a god
loving me?

Now my heart is scarred because with those kisses
you burned all the way through me
building a tunnel now sealed
for any future lover who will ask me
how did I live through such a love?
was it love or madness?
burning questions in my mind
will I ever find this again?
did I climb the highest mountain
feel the fiercest fire
live the truest love
before I was even twenty
too young to know how to live with it?

Now we are strangers
and you know all of my secrets
all the terrible stories, all the unfed demons
and the ones I fed with pain
all the wasted youth in me, consumed
but you also know that my love was unashamed
sacrificial, supreme
so I wonder, how do you go though life now?
do you ever look back?
do you think of the girl who ripped herself in pieces
just to learn to be with you
the young woman who burned so wildly
an untidy, disjointed storm?
loved you defiantly even when you closed
all the doors and burned all the bridges
so far, it took oceans of hurt to reach you.

here I am, now a healing river
learning how to flow, I forgot my nature
flowing, past my hurts and blisses
and yes, I still do, I love you
beyond all your bruised and rigid ego
for the first time, I’m writing a poem grounded
in reality
about you and all the things you did
that were not sheer

We were strangers when we met
I loved you so
from the first sentence you uttered, confessing
your scars and bleedings to me
your story
and I sat there, your head in my lap
a night early in the last year, we were so young
pure innocents in love
I fell in love with you like a hurricane
like a summer day
like a drop of honey tasted from the stars
and I told you then and always, if my way through life
is beside you
I do not question where it leads.

With my heart in your palms and my tears in your pocket
you went and went until you got so far
you became the thief
who stole
my unbounded
sacrificial love
but that’s okay, I got more
it never runs out, and yes I still do
I love you, always will.
the messy girl who gave you all she had
is still whole, became a woman
prays that someday
you will learn


what true love is.



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