The intensity of Being

I was
floating on white fluffy clouds
tip-toeing on golden rays of sun,
feeling high on love and bliss.
my days were sweet like cherries,
moonbeams shining all around.
honey dripping from my eyelashes,
my eyes filled with wonder.
my heart, an ocean of joy.

And now…
I feel winter inside me,
the skies of my soul are dark
a deep blue, heavy with riotous feelings.
The stars shining on the skies of my soul
are rare, blissful occurrences,
moments of indescribable peace
strange, shining specks of light
like pure diamonds in a pile of burnt dust,
tarnished storms of my insides

Now I am
drunk on passion
walking on burning coals,
days bittersweet
nights like sweat and tears,
longings as deep as the ocean.
Moonbeams understand my tiredness.
my eyelashes are wet with raindrops,
sweet and sour like a summer wine.
A wine I would rather have
together with a lover,
naked mind and soul.
I call to the wildish side of life
the wilderness of my soul calls to me
and I listen.
Sweetness and innocence subsided,
what I live is fire instead.

And oh,
I am looking for that lover
warm blood and true flesh and burning heart
making thunder,
making sweet gentle rain.
Naked mind and soul,
glimpse into eternity –
awakening
together with a lover,
a god who knows his self,
a man who knows and sees.

I am here
I am free
I am waiting
am I free ?
but who am I ?

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